8.26.2009

The Wee Hours, Revisited

*This is an old post I wrote a long time ago (When Kate and my mom were my only readers.) I thought it was an appropriate topic for today. Enjoy :)

I am not a morning person by any means. I am one of those "any excuse to stay in bed just a little longer" kind of people. Even though having children has forced me to wake up earlier then I would choose many times. But I found myself unable to stay in bed after Joe got up at 5am for work today. No kids were awake, not even the dogs. Just silence and me. So, I decided to sit on the back porch with a good book.

I am constantly amazed at how beautiful the early morning is, why don't I make an effort to get up early more often? (The bed is just TOO comfy, and I am just TOO grumpy first thing when I get up.) The sky was a beautiful sleepy blue with the sun just peaking over the trees, and then I saw the moon. It was so bright for the morning. I know, I know, the moon is often up still when the sun rises, but this was different. It seemed much brighter, as if to say "NO! I am not ready to just lay down quietly, I wanna be seen!"

I feel like that some days as a wife and mother. "NO! I want to be noticed for who I am, look at me, I am trying to get your attention!!" We as women sometimes lose our own individual voice and just become "mom." Not that there is anything wrong with that wonderful title, it is just important for us to not lose sight of who we are in the process.

Currently I have no clue who I am. I feel like a pre-teen trying to figure out where I fit in the world. I struggle with what I will do once my kids don't need me as much as they do now. The things I was once so passionate about now I find little interest in. My world truly revolves around my children (as it should) but, there is this little part of me that says "you can do so much more."

For now I will be like the bright early morning moon. Make my presence known "look at me! look at me!" and try finding myself through words in my blog, and then lay down during the day and let the sun (my children) shine all day long.

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time...

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17 comments:

Reluctant Housewife said...

That feeling is one of the reasons I started blogging.

B said...

Wow did you say it all! When I chatted with the doc I told her that the things that made me so happy before Stella meant very little to me nowadays. I haven't been able to get into anything except diapers, dinner and a down comforter!

Jan's Place USA and Mt Forest Pictures said...

that was worth resharing..very true..your a wise young mom/woman~

Cherie said...

Lizzie it sounds like you might need to figure out what shoes you need to put on too!!
With younger kids at home you have to change them alot more often I think.
Enjoy!

Cherie said...

Lizzie I just read your comment on my "shoe" post and I think you might be barefoot too - Way to be!!!! :D

robin said...

Oh, this is such a wonderful post... I love what you wrote and the way you've expressed your feelings.
And great shot! :)

dood1ebugs said...

Go back to school! Its awesome. Even if you just take one class it will be all about you! I am taking theatre 101 and I love it. (well so far. its just been one day.)

dood1ebugs said...

Go back to school! Its awesome. Even if you just take one class it will be all about you! I am taking theatre 101 and I love it. (well so far. its just been one day.)

blueviolet said...

I'm right there in those feelings now. I don't really know what I am apart from "mother." It remains to be seen.

valentine said...

wow, what a great post. i am not a mom, but i think it is important to learn who you are and be happy with that person.

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

Do we ever really find out who we are? Or are we constantly searching, evolving, changing...

Love the post.

Yaya said...

What's so wrong with being just "Mom"?

underthebigbluesky said...

wonderful words Lizzie! something i think we all feel!

i would KILL for a lie in, seriously.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

You have put into words how I've felt more often than I care to admit...but you've done it so eloquently. Nice to know I'm not alone! :)

Martha in PA said...

That's a great post! At 51 with an almost teen, I am really struggling with who I am.... and what I want to be now that I'm grown up!

I LOVE the early morning, and the late nights... in fact, I really don't like sleep much. Good thing since I don't do it well these days!

kyooty said...

you get me, I mean you :)

Queenie Jeannie said...

Sounds like you need a little something just for yourself! A class, learn a language, learn a new hobby....something that sparks your interest and has NOTHING to do with your kids!

I recommend stamping, but that's because I'm addicted, lol!