Another Year

This morning I awoke to the sweet sounds of my son scurrying around the kitchen, trying to secretly make me breakfast in bed. 

Then this afternoon I was treated to a matinee showing of "Barbie and A Mermaid Tail" in my daughters room. 

I love how in their own little ways, they make me feel special. It has nothing to do with money spent, only that they care. And It's adorable to see how excited they get doing these sweet things on my birthday. I love them so much. 

Normally I am all about the birthday, I have never quite understood why people hate getting just one year older. 

I get it now...

I do not like this getting older thing. It has nothing to do with the lines slowly appearing on my face, or the white hairs I find popping up in my hair line, or the tired muscles in my back. It has everything to do with them. 

One more year gone by. 

A reminder that everything changes and we only get so long to do everything we hope together. 

I know, depressing right? 

Last night I was a mess. My usual night before my birthday excitement was replaced with anxiety, stress and sadness. What gives? I don't want to feel like this! Yes, I woke up to the 2 cutest well-wishers ever, but I still have yet to completely shake this feeling of the sands of time slipping away. So on this my 1,756th year (ok maybe i'm not that old), I have decided to make it count. To not sit around and waste time. To play with them more while they still want me to. Laugh every single day and be thankful for every blessing God has given me. 

Cherish it all. 

Even those days when you wake up and find you are another year older. 

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time... 


Silent Roar

*loud sigh* 

It has been one long week. I am actually looking forward to tomorrow (a Monday). 

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming :) Here's to a wonderful week ahead to all of you. 

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time... 


Constantly Changing And Growing

This year my family and I took on a large change, to educate the kids at home. Since this was such a big shift for us I have tried my best to keep every other aspect of our lives exactly the same. Afraid too much change would send us all into a tailspin. 
You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your 
present circumstance unless you change. -Les Brown 

What I learned is that we can not change something that important without it affecting many other areas of our life. Even though I have been fighting other changes for the sake of sanity, change is inevitable. 

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, 
move with it, and join the dance. -Alan W. Watts

Friends: This is a complicated one. Both for the kids and myself. For the kids there has been some heart break. Especially for my daughter because she feels so much. Many of their "old school friends" faded away, ignoring them, or treating them as strangers. They tried to continue on with some activities at their old school, but it became too uncomfortable for them. Last night I had to hold my crying daughter in my arms as she sobbed "But mama! she was one of my best friends last year, now she won't even talk to me. Why? I don't understand, I'm still a person you know." I can't tell you how badly I want to call that little girl and say GROW UP! 

It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim 
energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better 
things. -Theodore Roosevelt 

But there have been very positive friend changes as well. The new friends the kids have made. The sweet people who have entered our lives. Also, the friendships that have endured through it all. These are the "good bits" we cling too.

Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; 
They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, 
They will walk and not become weary. -Isaiah 40:31

Interests: I can tell you I had no idea the things the kids once found joy in would change. Certain activities/sports they've always loved now seem less interesting. With that, new interests have emerged, they have new goals in their lives, new things they want to conquer and learn. 

Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor. -Brian Tracy

One of my most favorite changes though is the relationship the kids and I now have. We've always been close, but this is different. They let me in, they completely confide in me. I like it! We are each others classmates at times, being silly with one another. Yes there are days when we don't get along but for the most part it is wonderful. We had to get through the growing pains of these new changes in order to see how great it all could be. 

Risk always brings its own rewards: the exhilaration of breaking 
through, of getting to the other side; the relief of a conflict healed; 
the clarity when a paradox dissolves. -Marilyn Ferguson

There are still a few changes we are working through, each one we are tackling head on. I am just shocked at what an impact this chapter has had in so many areas. 

Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and 
remove yourself from the unacceptable. -Denis Waitley

I am learning to just roll with it, to be OK with change. Even when it scares me a little bit. 

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time... 



I am completely obsessed with British television.

Downton Abby
The Paradise
Doctor Who
Any Jane Austen book to TV adaptation

I have an unhealthy love of all things Disney. 
I could live in Cinderella's castle at the end of Main Street USA and be quite content. 

Foods that I could eat all day every day: 
sandwiches & eggs benedict (which I guess technically eggs benedict could be considered an open face sandwich.) 

There now, that was short and sweet. What are you obsessed with? 

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time... 


Ouch, My Head Hurts

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. If that is true then I am a very crazy person because this pretty much describes my entire life. 

Often I find myself having the same conversations with the people I am the closest to. (husband & children)
saying the same things, 
wondering why they didn't listen, 
then "banging my head on a wall."

Do I change my approach? NO
Do I turn right around in the very near future and do it all over again? YUP

"The laundry basket isn't that much further from the floor, pick your clothes up."
"Stop touching each other."
"Leave the dog alone."
"No, you cannot play the Xbox on a school night."
"Rinse your dishes off when you put them in the sink."
"Don't pick your nose."
"I need your help, please help me!"

Sure, sometimes what I say is heard, briefly. Then the sun goes down and BAM! Right back at it. Honestly I believe I should record myself and just leave the recording on a constant loop. Then, I could go on a vacation! Wait forget vacation, that's a bad idea. Have you ever left your significant other home alone with the children? That's job security right there. 

It may sound like I am complaining...

That's because I AM!

Yes, I am blessed beyond words. I know that. 

But there are days when the brick wall gives me a head ache from hitting it so many times. 

Are you suffering from insanity too?

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time... 


A Mother's Moment On Education

This morning I am having a moment...







These are the feeling surging through me right now. We have officially decided to educate our children at home. Not because their current school is bad, but because we feel we can show them more. I want them to be able to explore any topic as deeply as they want, and to sore at their own pace. I want the best for them. 

But there is this huge voice screaming in my head "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

Am I?

My son is in the gifted and talented program in his school,  I just found out today that my daughter made it in as well. I am proud beyond words. But we are taking them out. That sounds nutty. I want every subject they learn to be dissected the way those gifted classes do it. I believe we can do that at home. I Hope we can do that at home. 

They will not be "homeschooled" in the traditional sense of the word. They will be attending an online charter school. I believe my kids need that teacher interaction and classroom setting they find familiar. Yes they will still have many friends, yes they will meet up with classmates face to face, yes they will get a well rounded education and socialization. 

But I'm still scared. 
It's different. 

These children are my world, my everything. I have always wanted what is best for them, and now I find myself leaping off a cliff not sure what's below in hope of what's best. 

It's terrifying.

Infront of the everyone it's "oh we're so excited! We'll have great opportunities to broaden their minds. They can speed up or slow down whenever they want! We can learn subject in a whole new way. The kids can't wait!" but inside I am saying "AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" 

I have heard from many who decided to educate their children at home that it get's easier with time, that we will fall into a rhythm and it will be great. I am anxiously awaiting that point so I can quiet the nerves inside me. 

The fear of the unknown is something I usually do not have any issues with, but when it involves my children and their education I do. I don't want to derail their learning in any way. 

I am immersing myself in how to teach them best. When I focus on all the good points of this decision and what needs to be done to prepare It seems less scary. 

Everyone around me is so encouraging, and that helps tremendously. 

I just needed to type out my anxieties in hopes that they will subside. 

This new adventure is coming, mama better get ready!

But seriously, Am I Crazy?!

*deep breathes*
*deep breathes*
*deep breathes*

au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time... 


To Stay

I love my house. It's perfect for our family. We're a little quarky so a log cabin with character makes sense. I like when a persons home reflects who they are. Like when dogs look like their owners! 

(see! it's perfect!)

But then another house distracted me, and I started to doubt how much I loved mine.

"Oh! Shiny and new! More land! Closer to town!" I started to think things like "If we had THAT house we could do ... or we could have ... and we could always do ... " It made my current home seem not so great. I lost sight of what I had. 

Reality Check:

I am blessed! 

Sure our home isn't perfect, but nowhere is. We have to make it perfect for us. My family and I decided our silly home in the woods was worth keeping and sprucing up. Now the fun part! We made a plan to update a few things and add some things to make it better for our lifestyle. This experience shed a new light on it, now I'm excited. New isn't always better, sometimes you are right where you need to be.

This is so much like life. There are many many times when I get distracted and lose sight of what's really important. I get caught up in insignificant things. Sometimes I need a swift kick in the rear to get back on track. 

What has you distracted lately?

God bless, au revoir, adieu, ciao, till next time...